Well it’s been a while.  I have struggled with where to start. Or maybe it’s because I had so many emotions that I couldn’t pin down a starting place.  My thoughts started becoming my own worst nightmare and the tornado started to take over. 

I learned that one small change had a huge ripple effect.  And that when the rock is dropped, the power is shifted.  And not always for the better.  For me, I watched my safety and support disappear and a huge range of access of power open up.

During this week, I learned another part about life.   That having power doesn’t always make you good. Like one of “my kids” would say: “there is always a good guy and a bad guy, and the one with the most power wins”. And let me tell you.  He’s right.

So I’m sure by now most of you have put 1 and 1 together and realized that the person who got power is not using it for the good of all that is right.  Instead, its more like being a part of the Mean Girls movie and learning to fly in a small enclosed area.  This shift in power has made it clear who is in control, and they show it to everyone possible.

I knew before that there were restorations due to how power is distributed, but now there is even more. I went from being a bird in a big cage to being a bird in an extremely small cage.  I now have many limitations and barriers to be able to do the things I am there to do.  Things have shifted so that when I go to take off and fly, the end goal is taken away.  It’s been restricted and no longer acceptable. And it is shown to all those around the cage, watching.

It’s now ashaming.  The struggle is all to real.  Now I’m just a bird. In a tiny cage. Being watched to ensure I don’t fall, or fly in any direction.   The light of hope has dimmed and motivation to keep flying is almost gone. But Hopefully, one day I will be able to get out and stretch my wings. Before it’s too late and I forget how to fly.